Archive for March, 2013

 

Cyprus – On The Record

Wednesday, March 20th, 2013

I just wanted to go on the record that what has happened in Cyprus, with the seizure of bank accounts, is a trial balloon. If the world give it a collective shrug, that a first world central bank seized money from its citizens with no due process, then it will happen again, and it could happen here even. But as of right now, it is no longer safe to hold significant assets in a bank account, and I would recommend removing significant amounts of cash from the bank asap.

Mark my words. This will happen again, perhaps before the year is out.

 
 

Hipsters, Wiggers and Goths

Saturday, March 16th, 2013

So I’ve been giving a lot of thought to hipsters, wiggers and goths. I’ve concluded that these groups exist on a continuum, with small overlaps in between. Let’s explore each of these groups, their overlaps, and then conclude with a Venn diagram.

Let’s start with hipsters. Deliberately ironic, mustache wearing PBR drinking cool kids, generally insufferable, and generally white. Wiggers, of course, are white kids who try to act and dress like black inner city rappers. Their overlap? Well, one ironic overlap is that the word “hipster” was the 1940′s equivalent of the word “wigger”. But the real overlap? Nerdcore of course, white hipsters rapping about things like math and dungeons and dragons. It’s a small contingent, obviously, but there they are.

Goths claim to take everything so seriously that they are depressed all the time. Wearing all black and often black and white makeup to emphasize just how depressed they are. They seem to believe that they are the only authentic voice in a world of phonies. They are, in effect, Holden Caufield in makeup. But combined with wiggers and who do they become? Juggalos, wiggers in black and white clown makeup obsessed with the Dark Carnival, a sort of purgatory.

But what happens when you cross Goths with Hipsters? I struggled with this for a while, because Goths are so deadly serious, and hipsters, well, not so much. But after a while I realized that combining the two creates the Steampunk, a guy obsessed with esoterica from a more gothic age. The Steampunk gets to dress up like a goth and act serious, but about totally frivolous things, imagining a world where everything is run by steam. It is the ultimate hipster/goth fusion.

Which of course brings us to the final combination, the so-called theoretical Steampunk-Nerdcore-Juggalo. What is this creature exactly? Does he sport a mustache? Does he homebrew? Does he rap? The one thing we can be absolutely certain of with respect to this person:

HipGothWigalos.001

He is white.

 
 

Even MORE Daylight Savings Time

Friday, March 15th, 2013

So Daylight Savings Time has occurred again. Even earlier this year. It seems that they keep pushing it back further and further. I suppose some form of energy savings is the so-called goal. But it’s not spring yet, either according to the solar calendar or even just colloquially. It’s still cold out. Daylight Savings Time seems to take up 9 months of the year now making it the norm, and Standard Time the interlude. That was never supposed to be the case. My feeling is always been that if people want to get up earlier in the summer, then just go ahead and do it. There is no need to mess with everybody’s clock to get up earlier. But the powers that be keep pushing and pushing. Soon enough we’ll barely have a few weeks of standard time between Thanksgiving and New Years. It’s unacceptable. We need an alternative to the desire to keep pushing the envelope of Daylight Savings Time.

The answer, I think, lies in an additional Daylight Savings Time.

That’s right. We have Daylight Savings time from before the Spring Equinox until after Halloween now. But what we really need is a second daylight savings time, one in which we move the clocks forward a second hour, between Memorial Day and Labor Day. Look, two daylight savings times isn’t going to be significantly better than one, but if we don’t give the daylight savings time fanatics something else to mess with, eventually, they’ll keep pushing the boundaries of daylight savings time, until they cross over in the other direction, with daylight savings time ending before it even begins. That concept is entirely intolerable.

So let’s give them another hour in the actual summer. Keep them busy with something else. What do you think?