So I’m at the Whole Foods this weekend, and I notice that the cashier’s name tag read “Mr. Clifton.” “Mr. Clifton,” I said, and the man smiled. “I like that. Everyone today feels free to address everyone else by their first name without an invitation to do so. I like the fact that you’re willing to use Mister on your name tag.” The man kind of laughed, and I surmised he put it on there as a joke.

But I wasn’t joking. I get seriously irritated whenever customer service reps or worse, salesmen, feel free to call you by your first name as if you’re best friends. Nobody calls each other Mister or Missus or Miss any more. My father told me that in his office (and he retired in 1991 for reference sake) his secretary called him Mister, and even other employees a certain distance from him would call him Mr. Sama, though colleagues at the same level of management would use first names. And as a kid, I remember calling all my friends’ parents Mister and Missus. Never by their first names. When I encounter friends’ parents, I still feel inclined to call them Mister and Missus. Today, I think parents often invite their children’s friends to call them by their first names. This irritates me.

It irritates me in no small measure because our title for the President of the United States is Mr. President. George Washington came up with that title, in response to suggestions such as “Your Highness,” “Your Excellency,” “Your Majesty”and other royal-like titles. The use of Mister was at once common and yet polite. It downgraded the office while maintaining the right degree of formality.

But today, the title seems to exude the same sorts of feelings of grandeur as the old royal titles did, and that’s largely because of the decline in the use of the title Mister. When newspapers all printed pictures of Obama the day after the election with the caption “Mr. President”, they were exemplifying the phenomenon, in effect saying “Behold the grandeur”. Yes, there was also a point of saying that a black man will hold that title, but the emphasis on the title is wrong, it seems to me. If Washington were around today, he may not have suggested Mr President in today’s culture. He may have said, “Just call me George” or something. I dunno.

Of course, there is an alternative to all of this, namely to start using the titles Mister, Missus and Miss more often. It would restore some needed formality to our culture, and I think foster more respect between strangers as well. And, of course, it will be a step toward ending the cultural reverence of the presidency as an imperial office.

Tags: Barack Obama, LinkedIn, Mister

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